Tales of Times Forgotten

How Did Ammonites Receive Their Name?

Ammonites is the colloquial name for the members of Ammonoidea, a subclass of ancient cephalopods with shells resembling the curled horn of a ram that first appeared during the Devonian Period (lasted 419.2 million years ago – 358.9 million years ago) and flourished in the earth’s oceans until the Cretaceous-Paleogene (K-Pg) extinction event wiped out their last species around 66 million years ago. Because ammonites were extremely widespread in oceans for over three hundred million years, their fossilized shells are extremely common in many areas all over the world.

Tens of millions of years later, in the much more recent past, the ancient Egyptians and Kushites worshipped the god Amun, whom they depicted as having either the head or sometimes just the horns of a ram. The Greeks and Romans later came to worship this god, calling him Ammon and identifying him with their god Zeus/Iupiter. They identified fossilized ammonite shells as resembling Ammon’s horns and consequently believed that they were a kind of sacred stone with the power to induce prophetic dreams. It is from the name Ammon that ammonites have received their modern common and scientific names. Read on to learn more about this fascinating ancient deity and his connection to prehistoric fossils!

Jesus Had a Vagina (According to Medieval Christian Mysticism)

About a month ago, a whole host of right-wing media outlets, including The Daily Telegraph, the Daily Mail, the New York Post, NBC Montana, and Fox News, published a flurry of wildly sensationalist articles claiming that a dean at the University of Cambridge said that Jesus was transgender. As Candida Moss, a scholar of the New Testament and early Christianity who is the Edward Cadbury Professor of Theology at the University of Birmingham, points out in this article she wrote for The Daily Beast, however, and as I will discuss further in the first section of this post, this claim is entirely false; the dean in question actually said no such thing.

At the center of this controversy, however, stands a very strange and fascinating fact, which is well known to scholars and students of medieval western European art and mysticism, but which is not well known to the general public. As bizarre and improbable as it may sound, medieval western European Christians frequently depicted the wound that Jesus is said to have received in his side on the cross in a manner closely resembling a vulva. Although scholars disagree about what exactly these depictions indicate, most agree that the medieval people who made them and venerated them were conscious of this resemblance. In this post, I will explore the history of these depictions and what they may tell us about late medieval gender and sexuality.

What Do Angels Really Look Like According to the Bible?

There is a popular meme that has been going around on the internet for several years now claiming that “Biblically accurate angels” are actually terrifying, Lovecraftian, otherworldly beings who have all kinds of body parts from different animals and are covered all over in eyes. It’s a fun meme. Unfortunately, as an ancient historian, I’m the sort of person who ruins everything fun, so I’m here to tell you that the “Biblically accurate angel” meme isn’t really “Biblically accurate.”

In both the Hebrew Bible and the New Testament, beings who are described as angels are always either expressly described as looking like male humans or assumed to look like male humans. Although some texts of the Hebrew Bible and the New Testament do indeed describe a variety of heavenly beings with bizarre and frightening appearances, these beings are only described in a few places, were not originally viewed as angels, and are never described as angels in any canonical Biblical text.

Zwarte Piet Is a Racist Abomination

Zwarte Piet (whose name means “Black Pete” in Dutch) is a figure in the folklore of the Low Countries (i.e., the Netherlands, Belgium, and Luxembourg) who is said to accompany Saint Nicholas or Sinterklaas. In the weeks leading up to the feast day of Saint Nicholas, which is celebrated in the Netherlands on 5th December, he is traditionally portrayed by white actors or volunteers wearing blackface, along with thick red lipstick, a black wig of afro-textured hair, a large gold earring, and colorful faux-Renaissance-style clothing. These “Zwarte Pieten” traditionally take part in parades, entertain young children, and pass out cookie-like confectionaries known as pepernoten and kruidnoten.

Zwarte Piet has been a widely beloved figure among white people in the Low Countries for generations, but, for decades, some people (mostly people of color) have criticized the character as racist (because he is). Over the course of the past decade, and the past few years in particular, there has been something of a sea change, as a deracialized version of the character named Roetveegpiet (“Sooty Pete”), who wears light soot makeup instead of blackface, has eclipsed the traditional blackface version of the character in popularity.

Some white people have tried to defend the traditional Zwarte Piet by claiming that the character can’t be racist because he (supposedly) has no connection to the U.S. tradition of blackface minstrel shows. In this post, I intend to explore the real history of Zwarte Piet and demonstrate that the character does, in fact, owe very much to blackface minstrel shows and is, in fact, racist. Needless to say, readers should be forewarned that this post will discuss some truly deplorably racist material, including both historical and contemporary derogatory visual portrayals of Black people.

Ancient Greek and Latin Insult Poetry

The ancient Greeks and Romans are known for their many revered works of literature, art, and philosophy. One thing they are not known for (but perhaps should be!) is their insult poetry. In this post, I have collected some insulting ancient Greek and Roman poetic passages from a wide variety of sources, including the Homeric epics, Sappho, Hipponax, Catullus, and Martial, that I find especially amusing or revealing about ancient Greek and/or Roman society.

Readers should be aware that many of the passages I am about to discuss are extremely misogynistic, classist, racist, and/or shockingly sexually obscene. Some passages contain references to sexual violence. Some readers may find some of these poems disturbing.

“The Man, the Myth, the Pumpkin” Podcast

Hello folks! My good friend Sophia Sarro is a fellow grad student in the Ancient Greek and Roman Studies program at Brandeis University. They are strongly committed to promoting scholarly engagement with the public and, for their master’s project, they decided to do something a little different; they’ve created a podcast about the history of fictional portrayals of the Roman emperor Claudius (ruled 41 – 54 CE), spanning all the way from his death to the present day, examining how portrayals of him have been shaped by their cultural and historical contexts, how they interpret him in different ways and convey radically different messages, and how they deal with major aspects of his life, including his disability.

Their podcast is titled “The Man, the Myth, the Pumpkin” and you can listen to it here. The first episode, which just came out yesterday, is about how the Roman Stoic philosopher Seneca the Younger (lived c. 4 BCE – 65 CE) portrays Claudius in his famous satire Apocolocyntosis Claudii or The Pumpkinification of Claudius, which he wrote not long after the emperor’s death. Sophia will be dropping more episodes of the podcast over the course of the coming weeks.

I’ve just listened to the first episode and I cannot recommend their work highly enough! Sophia has put an enormous amount of time and labor into making this podcast and it really shows. Their writing is excellent and witty, their research is thorough, and their dramatic reading is spot-on. The podcast is both educational and entertaining and I’m sure that those who enjoy my blog will enjoy it as well. I personally loved listening to every second of the first episode and I eagerly await the next one.

The Ancient Greek Woman Who Dressed as a Man to Seduce Men

Earlier this week, I came across an absolutely fascinating epigram in the Greek Anthology by Asklepiades of Samos (lived c. 320 – after c. 263 BCE), an early Hellenistic Greek poet, whose epigrams are among the oldest that are included in the anthology. In the poem, he describes a beautiful young person named Dorkion (which is the diminutive form of the name Dorkas, which means “gazelle”) who was apparently assigned female at birth, whom he describes using feminine grammatical forms, and whom modern scholars have universally interpreted as woman, who dresses and behaves like a young man while trying to seduce young men.

I was intrigued by this poem, in part because of what it may reveal about ancient Greek attitudes toward gender, sex, and gender-nonconforming behavior. I thought that my readers might find it interesting as well, so I’ve decided to share it here, along with some information about its background and scholarly interpretations of it.

The Ancient Greeks Ate Cicadas and Grasshoppers!

Twenty-first-century westerners frequently like to imagine that the ancient Greeks and Romans were “just like us.” The truth, however, is that, if a person from twenty-first-century Europe, the U.S., or Canada were transported back in time to classical Athens in the fifth century BCE, they would find themself in a culture drastically different from their own in more ways than most people today appreciate.

Notably, although ancient Greek cuisine bore some similarities to modern Greek cuisine and southern European cuisine more generally, it also bore some striking differences. For instance, many twenty-first-century westerners will be surprised to learn that the ancient Greeks frequently ate insects—specifically cicadas and grasshoppers, which they apparently regarded as a delicious snack.

Archaeologists Have Discovered the Oldest Known Writing in Basque

The overwhelming majority of all languages that are currently widely spoken in Europe, including nearly all the languages that are widely spoken specifically in western Europe, belong to the same language family: Indo-European. There is, however, one language that is spoken in one small region of western Europe that is not Indo-European: Basque, which is spoken in Basque Country, a small region in the western Pyrenees of northern Spain and southwestern France that is totally surrounded on all sides by predominantly-Indo-European-language-speaking lands.

The Basque language is highly unusual, not only because it is a non-Indo-European language spoken in the middle of western Europe, but also because it is a language isolate, meaning it is not related to any other known languages. In fact, it is the only language isolate that is currently natively spoken anywhere in Europe. Modern historical linguists agree that Basque is the only surviving language of a family that was once spoken more widely in the region before the arrival of Indo-European-language-speaking peoples and that has survived in the land where it is spoken today despite millennia of Indo-European-language-speaking peoples inhabiting the surrounding lands.

Despite this, until recently, very little direct evidence was known for the ancient language from which modern Basque is derived, which historical linguists refer to as “Proto-Basque.” Just recently, however, a team of archaeologists announced their discovery of what is now the oldest known writing in the Basque language, which dates to the early first century BCE.

Zeus’s Horrifying Plan for Cosmic Genocide

There are more human beings alive right now than there have ever been at any previous point in the history of the universe. Even so, our population continues to skyrocket. In fact, the human population of the world is predicted to reach eight billion on Tuesday, November 15th, 2022. According to this article the Population Reference Bureau (PRB) released a few days ago, approximately 7% of all the humans who have ever lived are currently alive right now.

Given this historic occasion, I thought I would share with my readers a myth that is referenced in various forms in a number of works of early ancient Greek literature. The myth claims that, once, in the heroic age, humans became so populous that Gaia, the earth, struggled to bear the burden of their combined weight. Zeus, the king of the deities, saw that Gaia was suffering and therefore resolved to create devastating wars to annihilate as many humans as possible in order to bring her relief. Although this is a myth that not many people today have heard, it is referenced in one of the most famous passages in all of ancient literature: the opening proem of the Iliad.