The Shroud of Turin Is Definitely a Hoax

The Shroud of Turin is probably the most famous supposed relic in existence. It is a 4.4-meter-long linen shroud bearing the image of a crucified man. Supporters of the shroud claim that it is the actual burial shroud of Jesus of Nazareth and that the image on the shroud is the true image of Jesus, created at the moment of his resurrection.

It is easy to see why this idea is so appealing. If the shroud were authentic, it would be a remarkable source of information about Jesus the human being. Unfortunately, we can be virtually certain that the Shroud of Turin is a hoax that was originally created in France in around the 1350s AD by an artist trained in the Gothic figurative style as part of a faith-healing scam.

We know this primarily because there is no definitive record of the shroud prior to the fourteenth century and the earliest definitive record of the shroud is a letter recording that the forger who made it had confessed, but also because of a wide array of other factors. For instance, the shroud doesn’t match the kinds of funerary wrappings that were used in the Judaea in the first-century AD or the specific description of Jesus’s funerary wrappings given in the Gospel of John. The fabric of the shroud has also been conclusively radiocarbon dated to the Late Middle Ages.

Additionally, the proportions of the figure on the shroud are anatomically incorrect, but they closely match the proportions of figures in Gothic art of the fourteenth-century. The bloodstains on the shroud are not consistent with how blood flows naturally, which suggests the stains have been painted on. Finally, the fabric of the shroud was made using a complex weave that was common in the Late Middle Ages for high-quality textiles but was not used for burial shrouds in the time of Jesus.

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Are Modern Greeks Descended from the Ancient Greeks?

One thing I’ve discovered from reading questions and answers on Quora is that people are bizarrely obsessed with the question of whether modern Greeks are descended from ancient Greeks. It’s a subject that inevitably sparks a great deal of heated debate, with various non-Greek westerners on one side insisting that modern Greeks are not true Greeks at all while Greek people and various others insist that modern Greeks are truly descendants of the ancient Greeks.

The question of whether modern Greeks are truly descendants of the ancient Greeks has a long, sordid history that goes all the way back to the nineteenth century. I have decided to weigh in on this discussion to give some relevant background information, correct some prevailing false assumptions, and, finally, give what I consider to be a sound answer on the matter.

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Why Flaming Arrows Are Kind Of Stupid

When I was in fifth and sixth grade, I played a game with my friends where we pretended we lived in a fantasy world called “Clod.” Most of my friends pretended to be rulers of various fictional countries within this world. One of my friends pretended that he was the king of the elves. Whenever there was a battle, he always made a big deal about how his elven archers shot flaming arrows, which he always said were so much more deadly than regular arrows.

As it turns out, though, flaming arrows were rarely ever used in open combat by pre-modern peoples and the idea of using flaming arrows in open combat is actually kind of stupid. Flaming arrows were a real thing, but they weren’t often used and, when they were used, they weren’t used the way they are normally portrayed in movies and books.

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If You Like Ancient Greek Texts, Thank the Byzantines for Preserving Them

There is a widespread belief among members of the general public that ancient Greek texts were mostly only preserved by the Arabs through Arabic translations. The Byzantine Empire is rarely mentioned in the context of the preservation of classical texts. When the Byzantines are mentioned in this context, it is usually by writers who see them as ignorant fundamentalist Christian obscurantists.

Contrary to what popular culture would lead you to believe, however, the Byzantine Empire did retain Greco-Roman knowledge. In fact, the vast majority of ancient Greek texts that have survived to the present day are primarily known from Greek manuscripts that were either copied in the Byzantine Empire or copied from texts that were copied in the Byzantine Empire.

The idea that the majority of ancient Greek texts have only been preserved because they were translated by Arabic scholars is largely a misconception. There are a few lesser-known classical Greek texts that have been preserved only through Arabic translations, but the vast majority of the really famous texts that people still study today have actually been preserved in the original Greek.

The widespread ignorance of the Byzantines’ role in the preservation of classical Greek and Roman texts is just one small part of a centuries-old, systematic effort by westerners to marginalize the Byzantine Empire and minimize its importance in European history.

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Here’s What Movies and Television Shows Get Wrong about Medieval Swordfights

By this point, most of my readers are probably aware that movies and television shows aren’t a very good place to get your historical information from. These works are made purely for entertainment purposes by people who generally aren’t historical experts. Consequently, they are inevitably full of inaccuracies. Even films that are supposedly based on historical events often greatly distort the history to suit their own ends. (Think, for instance, of the movie 300, which I debunked in this article from November 2019.)

In this article, I want to debunk a few common inaccuracies I have noticed seem to recur in swordfight scenes from films and television shows set in medievalesque worlds. Cinematic fight scenes are always extremely unrealistic and governed solely by the “Rule of Cool” rather than by what is actually realistically possible in a combat situation. Here are a few major inaccuracies I have noticed:

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How Violent Was the Pre-Modern World Really?

It is no secret that the ancient and medieval worlds were, in general, more violent than today’s world. After all, today in the twenty-first century, most countries do not have crucifixions, gladiator fights, or public executions that involve people being torn apart by wild beasts. Cities today rarely have to worry about rival cities attacking them and most modern cities are not even fortified. Clearly, the world has changed quite drastically since antiquity.

Nonetheless, the degree of violence that existed in the ancient and medieval worlds was not nearly so great as many people have been led to believe by popular films and television shows, which often portray an absurd level of violence that is completely beyond the amount of violence that actually existed during any period of human history.

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No, Medieval Staircases Weren’t Designed to Give Right-Handed Defenders an Advantage

Chances are, if you have ever visited a medieval European castle or read about such castles online, you have probably heard that newel staircases in these castles were intentionally always designed in the form of a clockwise spiral to give the most space to the right-handed defenders at the top of the stairs to draw and swing their swords while simultaneously restricting the space available to the right-handed attackers attempting to ascend the staircase.

This is something that tour guides often tell people visiting castles. It is also one of those “fun facts” that are often repeated on the internet. Unfortunately, for reasons I am about to explain, it is also almost certainly wrong; there is no compelling evidence to suggest that medieval staircases were intentionally designed this way for this reason and there is a great deal of evidence to suggest the opposite. A far more parsimonious explanation is that the majority of staircases were designed clockwise simply so that a right-handed person could keep their right hand on the wall for balance while descending the staircase under everyday circumstances.

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Did Christians Really Burn Sappho’s Poetry?

Sappho of Lesbos (lived c. 630 – c. 570 BCE) was the most praised and highly regarded of all Greek lyric poets in antiquity. She was known as the “tenth Muse” and some ancient authors regarded her work as on par with that of Homer (the putative author of the Iliad and the Odyssey and most revered of all ancient Greek poets) himself. She produced an enormous body of poems, but, sadly, extremely little of her work has survived to the present day.

In the third century BCE, the Greek scholars working at the Great Library of Alexandria produced a standard text for all of Sappho’s poems that was divided into at least eight “books” or rolls of papyrus. Many scholars believe that the collection probably contained nine books for the nine Muses. Today, though, less than seven hundred lines of Sappho’s poetry are extant. Only one of her poems, Fragment 1 (known as the “Ode to Aphrodite”), has survived to the present day totally complete with no lacunae or parts missing. A few other poems have survived to the present day nearly complete, including Fragment 16 (the “Anaktoria Poem”), Fragment 31 (“Phainetai Moi”), Fragment 58 (the “Tithonos Poem”), and the “Brothers Poem.”

The most common explanation that people give for why so little of Sappho’s poetry has survived to the present day is that (supposedly) Christian authorities in late antiquity or the Middle Ages had all the collections of her poems rounded up and burned, because they were disgusted and horrified by how openly she describes her erotic desire for other women. This makes for a good story with clear villains. Unfortunately, it is probably not true. In reality, as I shall explain in this post, we have no evidence to support the idea that Christians went around burning Sappho’s poems. The real reasons why so little of her poetry has survived are far more complicated—and actually far more interesting.

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Is Krampus Really Pagan?

I recently wrote a very long, detailed article debunking the idea that many modern Christmas traditions have ancient pagan origins. In that article, I talked about how Christmas traditions such as gift-giving, decorating Christmas trees, and decorating with mistletoe have actually all originated in modern times and are not nearly old enough to have pre-Christian pagan origins.

With all of those traditions, there are at least some other debunkers out there pointing out that these traditions are not really old enough to have their origins in pre-Christian paganism. There is, however, one Christmas tradition that people routinely describe as having pagan origin that no one else seems to be debunking that I think really needs to be debunked.

The Christmas tradition I am talking about is Krampus. In case you haven’t heard of Krampus, he is a monstrous demonic figure with horns who, according to Bavarian and Austrian folklore, is said to accompany Saint Nicholas. While Saint Nicholas is said to reward the children who have behaved well with presents, Krampus is said to punish the children who have misbehaved, either by dragging them away to Hell where they must burn for eternity for their sins, by shoving them in a bag and dumping them in the woods to find their way home, or by beating them with the bundle of birch sticks he carries.

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The Truth about the Archimedes Palimpsest

If you have an interest in ancient science or mathematics, chances are you have probably heard at some point about the Archimedes Palimpsest. According to the narrative that New Atheist writers and media outlets keep pushing, the ancient Greek mathematician Archimedes of Syracuse (lived c. 287 – c. 212 BC) wrote groundbreaking mathematical treatises that were millennia ahead of their time.

Then, according to the standard narrative being pushed, in the thirteenth century AD, ignorant, obscurantist Christians who did not care about science or mathematics erased the text of the manuscript containing the last known copies of several of Archimedes’s treatises and reused the parchment to make a prayer book. Now—or so the story goes—Archimedes’s previously lost groundbreaking works are being recovered through the brilliancy of modern secular technology.

Unfortunately, this narrative that I have just outlined is deeply, deeply misrepresentative and based on an extremely selective presentation of the evidence. If the media would tell the full story of the Archimedes Palimpsest, we would be getting a very different narrative—a narrative not about how religion is inherently dangerous and destructive, but rather a far more complex narrative in which religious individuals are neither inherently evil nor inherently good but simply human beings capable of both good and evil.

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