Bizarre Ancient Greek Festivals

One thing that I am always fascinated by are ancient traditions and rituals. Traditions are highly culture-specific and, to anyone outside of the culture that practices them, they seem bizarre, foreign, and inexplicable. Just think how strange our modern holiday traditions here in the United States will undoubtedly seem to someone thousands of years from now! To us, the customs and traditions associated with various ancient Greek festivals seem baffling and bizarre. The ancient Greeks had hundreds of festivals that were celebrated in various regions throughout Greece and during different periods of their history. Here are just a few of the more peculiar ones by modern standards:

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Three Bizarre Stories from Ancient Greece

Like many people, I am deeply fascinated by the obscure, the bizarre, and the perplexing. Thankfully, I happen to study the classics, which is a subject that is full of obscure, bizarre, and perplexing stories. There are so many such stories, in fact, that I cannot even count the number of them that I have read. Nonetheless, I thought I would share a few of my favorites here. Here are three stories I picked out as being among the most bizarre stories told by classical writers: a story of a dying man who allegedly stayed alive for three days by sniffing a loaf of bread, stories of a man with a golden thigh who could make rivers greet him by name, and a historical event in which an oligarchy was overthrown by conspirators disguised as prostitutes.

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The Origins of the Christmas Tree

Decorating Christmas trees every December is a time-honored western holiday tradition, one that almost everyone has fond memories of. According to the USA Today, in December 2017, approximately 95 million households had Christmas trees in the United States alone. Strangely, though, few people actually know where this tradition originally comes from and most people who think they know where it comes from have been misinformed. Decorating Christmas trees is not nearly as old of a tradition as many accounts would lead one to believe.

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Who Was Hypatia of Alexandria Really?

Alongside the venerable ranks of Cleopatra, Boudicca, and Olympias, the philosopher Hypatia of Alexandria (lived c. 350 x c. 375 – 415 AD) is one of the single most famous historical women of classical antiquity. Unfortunately, there is a tremendous amount of misinformation about her out there and, if you have read about her previously, there is a very high probability that the vast majority of what you have read about her is fiction. Join as we discover the real Hypatia of history, as well as how the myths surrounding her have accrued over the years.

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Did Pythagoras Discover the Pythagorean Theorem?

The Greek philosopher Pythagoras of Samos (lived c. 570 – c. 495 BC) is most famous today for having allegedly discovered the Pythagorean theorem, but, historically speaking, he did not really discover this theorem and it is even questionable whether he ever engaged in any kind of mathematics at all. The historical Pythagoras of Samos seems to have been a sort of mystic sage and spiritual guru, who lived a far more bizarre and fascinating life than you ever would have guessed from what you learned in mathematics class.

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No, Emperor Nero Did Not Play the Fiddle as Rome Burned

It is one of the most iconic illustrations of the Emperor Nero’s decadence: the story that, during the Great Fire of Rome in 64 AD, the maniacal emperor stood atop his balcony, playing the fiddle and rejoicing at the sight of the burning city below him. The story, however, is completely false. Not only did Nero not play the fiddle as Rome burned, his reaction to the fire won him great praise and admiration, even from his enemies.

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The Most Depressing Book Ever Written: Death by Starvation by Hegesias of Kyrene

When they hear the words “most depressing book ever written,” most people probably think of a novel by Fyodor Dostoevsky or Émile Zola. While works by these writers are well-known for being depressing, just wait until you hear about a book written by the early third-century BC Greek Cyrenaic philosopher Hegesias of Kyrene. The book was called Death by Starvation or The Death-Persuader. According to the Roman orator Cicero (lived 106 – 43 BC), the entire book was essentially an argument for why everyone should just give up on life and kill themselves.

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The Not-So-Pagan Origins of Easter

If you have been on the internet at all around this time of year, you have no doubt at some point encountered claims that Easter is actually a pre-Christian pagan holiday and that popular modern Easter traditions such as the Easter bunny and painting Easter eggs are actually thinly-veiled pagan customs. I am here to tell you that these claims are essentially bunk. Although the holiday of Easter takes its name in English from an obscure Anglo-Saxon dawn goddess, the holiday itself is of Christian origin and there is no evidence to support the notion that popular traditions such as the Easter bunny and the painting of Easter eggs were ever pagan.

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Caesar’s Real Last Words

On 15 March 44 BC, an event happened that changed history forever: a group of over thirty conspirators led by Gaius Cassius Longinus, Marcus Junius Brutus the Younger, and Decimus Junius Brutus Albinus assassinated the Roman politician and general Gaius Julius Caesar in the Theater of Pompey. It is an assassination that has gone down as one of the most famous in history. The assassination of Julius Caesar has been the subject of countless plays, books, films, television shows, and even video games.

Partially reinforced by these takes on Caesar’s assassination in popular culture, many people mistakenly believe that Julius Caesar’s last words were, “Et tu, Brute?” which means, “And you, Brutus?” in Latin—allegedly an expression of shock and horror at Marcus Junius Brutus’s betrayal. In reality, however, the historical Julius Caesar never uttered these words; no one knows what Caesar’s real last words were, but ancient writers attribute a number of different phrases to him in the moments leading up to his death.

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No, Julius Caesar Was Not Born by Cesarean Section

Everyone knows that a cesarean section, also known as a “C-section,” is when a child is removed from the uterus via surgery rather than by the natural birthing process. The name of the procedure, however, is misleading. Although the term cesarean section most likely does indeed come from the name of the famous ancient Roman general and dictator Gaius Julius Caesar (lived 100 – 44 BC), this is not because Julius Caesar was actually born by cesarean section, but rather because of a later legend with no factual basis claiming that he was.

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