inventions Archives - Tales of Times Forgotten

Nabis, the Last King of Sparta, and His Torture Robot

The last king of Sparta to actually wield real political power was Nabis, who staged a coup d’état in 207 BCE, in which he seized the throne and murdered the reigning king Pelops. He claimed that he was a remote descendant of the Eurypontid king Demaratos of many centuries earlier and initiated sweeping social reforms that he designed to fortify his power.

Ever since antiquity, Nabis’s reputation has consistently been that of an extraordinarily cruel and sadistic tyrant. He is probably most notorious today for having supposedly constructed a horrifying torture robot modeled after his wife Apega that he could control and use to torture people into giving him large amounts of money and precious valuables. In this post, I will briefly look at who Nabis was, the events of his life, and, of course, the story of the evil torture robot.

What Was Really in the Library of Alexandria?

It is no secret that I spend a lot of time debunking popular misconceptions about the Library of Alexandria. I do this because modern people are absolutely obsessed with the Library of Alexandria and all the amazing documents they believe it must have contained. Today I’m going to revisit the Library of Alexandria yet again to debunk some ideas about what was in it.

Lots of people like to imagine that the Library of Alexandria was filled with amazing scientific information that has been lost. They like to imagine that it could have housed all sorts of breathtaking secrets about the universe that even modern scientists might not know. These ideas, though, are wrong.

I’ve addressed this subject before, but today I want to address it in-depth, debunking some specific claims about the Library of Alexandria’s contents and bringing people’s expectations more down to Earth.

Debunking the So-Called “Baghdad Battery”

By now, most people have probably heard about the so-called “Baghdad battery,” an object that has been claimed by many people to be an ancient Persian galvanic cell, or electric battery. The so-called “battery” consists of a fourteen-centimeter tall ovoid ceramic pot, a copper tube affixed to the aside of the pot with an asphalt seal, and an iron rod affixed to the inside of the copper tube by the same asphalt seal. There was evidence of acidic residue on the inside.

A hypothesis originally proposed in 1940 by the Austrian archaeologist Wilhelm König holds that this object might be an ancient Persian galvanic cell that might have been used for electroplating. This hypothesis, despite having been repeatedly debunked, keeps being repeated by popular science authors.

König’s battery hypothesis also, unfortunately, keeps getting repeated by people who I can only describe as “New Agers” who keep claiming that the so-called “Baghdad battery” is an “out-of-place artifact” or “OOPArt” and that it is evidence that there was a prehistoric civilization with modern levels of technology that we don’t have record of.

In reality, even if the so-called “Baghdad battery” really were a battery, it certainly would not be evidence for the existence of an unbelievably technologically advanced prehistoric civilization. Furthermore, archaeologists actually have a pretty good idea of what the so-called “Baghdad battery” was used for—and it almost certainly wasn’t used as a battery.

Plague Doctor Costumes Were Actually a Good Idea

There are a lot of unfortunate misconceptions out there about the infamous bird-beaked costume worn by plague doctors. One misconception is that this costume was worn during the Middle Ages. Another misconception is that the costume was supposed to protect the doctor by “scaring” the disease away. Another misconception is that the costume was totally ineffective.

In reality, the plague doctor costume was only invented in the seventeenth century and the beak was supposed to protect the doctor by supposedly filtering infectious vapors from the air he breathed, not by “scaring” the disease. Plague doctor costumes were undoubtedly flawed, partly due to limited understanding of how disease was spread and partly due to technological limitations, but the idea behind them was actually a good one and they probably did provide doctors with some degree of protection from the plague.

No, There Isn’t a Conspiracy to “Hide the Truth” about Ancient History

One of the most annoying and pervasive beliefs I have encountered in my time on the internet is the belief that there is a huge conspiracy among scholars or among government agents to “hide the truth” about ancient history. This strange conviction that many people seem to share forms the basis for countless conspiracy theories of all different varieties.

For instance, I’ve seen countless people online claiming that academics or the United States government are secretly hiding evidence that aliens really visited Earth in ancient times or evidence for the existence of unknown lost civilizations. Funnily enough, no one actually seems to agree on exactly what kind of “truth” that governments and scholars are hiding; the only thing they all agree on is that, somehow or another, they’re hiding something and its always something big.

Unfortunately, for the conspiracy theorists, I’m going to have to burst their bubble; not only are historians and governments not “hiding the truth” about ancient history, but they actually have every motivation to not hide it.

Did the Ancient Egyptians Have Electric Lighting?

It has been widely claimed on the internet that the ancient Egyptians had electric lighting. This claim is made largely based on an extremely tendentious interpretation of a series of relief carvings from the southern crypt of the ancient Egyptian Temple of Hathor at Dendera and the fact that some Egyptian tombs and temples do not currently have very much soot on their ceilings.

Unfortunately for those who want to believe that the ancient Egyptians had electric lighting, they simply didn’t. As I will show, the reliefs from Dendera almost certainly don’t depict lightbulbs and there is a much more reasonable explanation for why some Egyptian temples and tombs do not have soot on their ceilings.

No, the Antikythera Mechanism Was Not Unique

If you have any interest in ancient science and technology, you have almost certainly heard of the Antikythera mechanism, an ancient Greek mechanical orrery that was discovered in 1901 in an ancient shipwreck off the coast of the Greek island of Antikythera. It is a clockwork mechanism that was used to keep track of Olympiads and the movements of the celestial bodies. The wreck the device was recovered from dates to between c. 70 and c. 60 BC. The Antikythera mechanism itself was most likely originally created sometime in around the late second or early first century BC.

In popular science writings and in popular culture, the Antikythera mechanism is usually described as an “ancient Greek computer.” It is usually presented as an astonishing example of how incredibly advanced ancient Greek technology was and it is usually presented in such a way that makes it sound as though we had no idea that devices like it even existed before it was discovered.

The truth, though, is that devices like the Antikythera mechanism are actually well-attested in surviving ancient written sources and classical scholars already knew that these kinds of devices existed in antiquity long before the Antikythera mechanism was discovered. The Antikythera mechanism is not significant because it is the only device of its kind that ever existed, but rather because it is the only one of its kind that is known to have survived to the present day.

Why Most So-Called “Medieval Torture Devices” Are Fake

We’ve all heard of so-called “medieval torture devices.” You can find tons of clickbait-y articles online and videos on YouTube and so forth talking about the most gruesome of these alleged devices. For instance, here is a YouTube video from BuzzFeed titled “5 Of The Most Gruesome Medieval Torture Devices.” It lists the “scold’s bridle,” the “rack,” the “iron maiden,” the “pear of anguish,” and the “brazen bull.”

Unfortunately for those who love reading about gruesome torture devices, most of the so-called “medieval torture devices” you hear about never existed at all during the Middle Ages. In fact, of the five devices listed in the aforementioned video, only the rack actually existed during the Middle Ages and, even then, it seems to have been rarely ever used.

Many alleged “medieval torture devices” were actually made up by hoaxers, showmen, and con artists in the late eighteenth and early nineteenth centuries. These hoaxers would display these phony instruments of torture for commercial gain, telling people they were real medieval torture devices and charging people to see them.

Other supposed “medieval torture devices” were made up more recently. For instance, the notorious “Spanish tickler” (not mentioned in the video linked above) was only made up in 2005 as a hoax article on Wikipedia. Meanwhile, other supposed “medieval torture devices” are real torture devices, but they didn’t exist during the Middle Ages. Let’s go through in alphabetical order and debunk supposed medieval torture devices one-by-one.

Why Tearing Down Confederate Monuments Is Not “Erasing History”

In case you haven’t already heard, the United States has a lot of monuments honoring the Confederate States of America, as well as the individuals most closely associated with it, such as Robert E. Lee, Jefferson Davis, and Stonewall Jackson. According to a report by the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC), there are currently 780 monuments and statues across the United States honoring the Confederacy and people associated with it.

According to The Washington Post, about one in every twelve Confederate monuments is in a Union state, which is absolutely baffling when you consider that the Union actually won the war. My home state of Indiana, which was a Union state through and through, currently has several Confederate monuments. Even Massachusetts, one of the most vociferously pro-Union states, had a Confederate monument until just a few years ago.

Most people reading this are probably already well enough aware that there is a great deal of controversy over these monuments. Many people (myself included) believe these monuments should be taken down. Defenders of the monuments, however, insist that removing them is “erasing history.” In this article, I intend to show how this insistence is a form of false framing. Taking down Confederate monuments is objectively not “erasing history” at all, but rather simply refusing to glorify people who fought to defend the institution of slavery.

Debunking the So-Called “Dark Ages”

There is no period in all of human history that gets quite so much bad press as the Middle Ages. Popularly known as the “Dark Ages,” most people imagine that this was the worst possible time to be alive—a thousand years of poverty, backwardness, stagnation, superstition, and obscurantism.

It is popularly believed that, during this era, obscurantist Christians deliberately rounded up classical texts to destroy them, people burned witches, no one ever bathed, everyone thought the world was flat, people were constantly slaughtering and torturing each other for no reason, all people were fanatically orthodox Catholics, scientific and technological advancement was virtually nonexistent, doctors knew less about medicine than doctors in all other eras, and everyone was always miserable.

There is very little truth to any of these notions, however. The real Middle Ages are very different from the barbarous caricature that most people are familiar with. Although some historians do use the term “Dark Ages,” they use this term to refer to a specific period in medieval western European history lasting a little over three hundred years from the collapse of the western Roman Empire in the fifth century AD until the rise of the Carolinian Empire in the late eighth century AD.

In this article, I will debunk some of the most popular misconceptions about the Middle Ages. Then, at the end, I will explain why I, like many historians, believe that the term “Dark Ages” should be retired altogether.