Classical history is kind of notorious for its menagerie of stories about bizarre and humiliating deaths. Today we will hear stories about a philosopher who covered himself in cow manure and was devoured by wild dogs, a military leader who committed suicide by drinking bull’s blood, a playwright who was killed by a falling tortoiseshell, a poet who jumped into a volcano to make people think he was a god, a tragedian who was killed like a character in one of his tragedies, a tyrant who was assassinated with a poisoned toothpick, a Stoic philosopher who literally laughed himself to death, and even a Christian religious leader who pooped out his own internal organs. All of these stories are almost certainly apocryphal, but they are still interesting to retell!
Continue reading “Most Bizarre Deaths from Classical History”Category: Ancient Greece
Three Times the Winners Did Not Write History
“History is written by the victors” is a saying so commonplace that it has become almost a platitude. It seems as though everyone has simply come to accept it and believe it. The problem is that it is not actually always true. Strictly speaking, history is not, in fact, written by the victors. History is written by the people who write history. These people are often the victors, but not always and not necessarily. There are examples throughout history of history being written by the people who lost. In this post, we will explore just a few of the occasions when the victors did not write history.
Continue reading “Three Times the Winners Did Not Write History”Bizarre Ancient Greek Festivals
One thing that I am always fascinated by are ancient traditions and rituals. Traditions are highly culture-specific and, to anyone outside of the culture that practices them, they seem bizarre, foreign, and inexplicable. Just think how strange our modern holiday traditions here in the United States will undoubtedly seem to someone thousands of years from now! To us, the customs and traditions associated with various ancient Greek festivals seem baffling and bizarre. The ancient Greeks had hundreds of festivals that were celebrated in various regions throughout Greece and during different periods of their history. Here are just a few of the more peculiar ones by modern standards:
Continue reading “Bizarre Ancient Greek Festivals”Three Bizarre Stories from Ancient Greece
Like many people, I am deeply fascinated by the obscure, the bizarre, and the perplexing. Thankfully, I happen to study the classics, which is a subject that is full of obscure, bizarre, and perplexing stories. There are so many such stories, in fact, that I cannot even count the number of them that I have read. Nonetheless, I thought I would share a few of my favorites here. Here are three stories I picked out as being among the most bizarre stories told by classical writers: a story of a dying man who allegedly stayed alive for three days by sniffing a loaf of bread, stories of a man with a golden thigh who could make rivers greet him by name, and a historical event in which an oligarchy was overthrown by conspirators disguised as prostitutes.
Continue reading “Three Bizarre Stories from Ancient Greece”National Museum of Brazil Fire Should Come as a Warning
You may or may not have read about the devastating fire that engulfed the National Museum of Brazil three days ago on September 2, 2018. The museum housed over 20 million objects, including the largest collection of ancient Egyptian, Greek, and Roman artifacts in Latin America and one of the largest in the entire western hemisphere. While the extent of the destruction has not yet been fully assessed, it is highly probable that nearly all the artifacts in these collections were destroyed or irreparably damaged by the fire. The entire interior of the building appears to have been reduced to nothing but ash and broken rubble. Worst of all, this destruction was not a freak accident of nature or an inevitable result of the Second Law of Thermodynamics; this disaster was entirely preventable. It was entirely the result of sheer human carelessness.
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Misunderstood Ancient Quotes
Modern people are obsessed with ancient quotes. People assume that, if an ancient philosopher said something, it must automatically have some sort of profound meaning or significance. This is part of the reason why there are so many quotations floating around on the internet that have been misattributed to famous people from ancient times. (I have written an article debunking a few of the more popular misattributed ancient quotes, but there are many others that I haven’t covered.)
Unfortunately, even many of the quotes people use today that genuinely come from ancient authors have been greatly misinterpreted or taken out of context. A few of the most popular misinterpreted ancient quotes include “Know yourself,” “Love conquers all,” “I fear the Danaans, even bearing gifts,” and “the face that launched a thousand ships.”
Continue reading “Misunderstood Ancient Quotes”Fascinating Ancient Artifacts
It is true that very little has survived from our classical past, but sometimes the objects that have survived can amaze us. When we see ancient artifacts in museums, we often like to imagine that they might have been touched by someone truly famous, but, with a few rare objects, we know that they were.
How the Ancients Greeted Each Other
In modern films and television shows, people from the ancient world are commonly shown greeting each other with a rather peculiar handshake in which, instead of merely clasping hands, each person grasps the other’s forearm. Films and television shows tend to most frequently associate this gesture with Roman men, but it has been portrayed in other contexts as well.
Many people will be disappointed to learn that the forearm handshake is not shown in any extant work of ancient art, nor is it ever referred to in any surviving work of ancient literature. We have no evidence that anyone ever used this handshake in antiquity and it appears to be purely a modern invention. This, however, raises a very interesting question: How did ancient people really greet each other?
The World’s Oldest Surviving Joke Book
We are all familiar with joke books in some form or another, but did you know that the oldest surviving one was written around 1,600 years ago? It is called Philogelos (Φιλόγελως; Philógelōs), which means “The Laughter-Lover” in Ancient Greek. It was probably written in the late fourth or early fifth century AD and contains 265 jokes written in a crude dialect of Ancient Greek.
Did Pythagoras Discover the Pythagorean Theorem?
The Greek philosopher Pythagoras of Samos (lived c. 570 – c. 495 BC) is most famous today for having allegedly discovered the Pythagorean theorem, but, historically speaking, he did not really discover this theorem and it is even questionable whether he ever engaged in any kind of mathematics at all. The historical Pythagoras of Samos seems to have been a sort of mystic sage and spiritual guru, who lived a far more bizarre and fascinating life than you ever would have guessed from what you learned in mathematics class.
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