Classical history is kind of notorious for its menagerie of stories about bizarre and humiliating deaths. Today we will hear stories about a philosopher who covered himself in cow manure and was devoured by wild dogs, a military leader who committed suicide by drinking bull’s blood, a playwright who was killed by a falling tortoiseshell, a poet who jumped into a volcano to make people think he was a god, a tragedian who was killed like a character in one of his tragedies, a tyrant who was assassinated with a poisoned toothpick, a Stoic philosopher who literally laughed himself to death, and even a Christian religious leader who pooped out his own internal organs. All of these stories are almost certainly apocryphal, but they are still interesting to retell!
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Three Bizarre Stories from Ancient Greece
Like many people, I am deeply fascinated by the obscure, the bizarre, and the perplexing. Thankfully, I happen to study the classics, which is a subject that is full of obscure, bizarre, and perplexing stories. There are so many such stories, in fact, that I cannot even count the number of them that I have read. Nonetheless, I thought I would share a few of my favorites here. Here are three stories I picked out as being among the most bizarre stories told by classical writers: a story of a dying man who allegedly stayed alive for three days by sniffing a loaf of bread, stories of a man with a golden thigh who could make rivers greet him by name, and a historical event in which an oligarchy was overthrown by conspirators disguised as prostitutes.
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