Update (February 28th, 2025)

61 thoughts on “Update (February 28th, 2025)”

1. Dear Spencer:

   Your novel sounds extremely interesting and I can’t wait to read it when it becomes available (in whatever form).

   Teaching seems like a good idea or perhaps even librarianship or archival work. Your story makes me wish for the days when artists had patrons, though I realize those situations were not ideal either.

   Things are tough these days. You are not alone. May the powers that be look favourably on you, may the stars align, may the tides turn. Your work has meant a lot to me and I’m sure to many here. We are rooting for you.

   1. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

      Unfortunately, it’s very unlikely that I could land a position as a librarian, since all the librarian positions require at least a master’s degree specifically in library science, which I don’t have. Even then, there are far more people with master’s degrees or PhDs in library science who want to work as librarians than there are openings for them to fill; it’s just as competitive as academia. Museum curator positions are the same way; they all require at least a master’s degree specifically in museum studies and are extremely competitive. One of my roommates during my first year in the classics MA program actually had a master’s degree in museum studies and still couldn’t land any kind of curator position anywhere.

      There are some jobs in libraries and museums that I would be eligible for, but they are all part-time, menial-labor or customer-service types of roles such as working at the front desk selling tickets or at the help desk or as a gallery attendant where you just stand there all day and tell people not touch things. Those jobs usually don’t pay nearly enough where I could afford to live in an apartment on my own; I’d either have to continue living with my parents or live with probably multiple roommates. They also have little or no potential to lead into better roles. Even for those positions, there aren’t a lot of openings. Last year, I actually applied for a position at the public library in my hometown (the only one I could find there), but I didn’t get it.

      On top of all that, many local governments in red states like Indiana are defunding public libraries and, as a result, many libraries are either closing or just barely hanging on. Part of the reason why I don’t think it would be worth it to pursue a master’s in library science is because it’s a professional degree with a tuition cost and there’s a fairly strong likelihood that there won’t be any libraries left to work in five or ten years from now.

      1. Like everyone else, I encourage you to keep going no matter what. Maybe – just maybe – you’ll feel better after posting a non-update post again. Of course I could be wrong about that, but I’m throwing it out just in case I’m not. The medieval author of “O Fortuna” may have been in a similar situation to you, in the sense that nothing was going right for them. And look what we got there.

         By the way, you’re moving back to Indiana? Do you think it’s still unsafe due to bring Republican-ruled?

         1. I am already back in Indiana. I’ve been back here since August 2024. I’m not fond of living in a red state. It is not an ideal situation and there are definitely more restrictions on my freedom here, but I’m not in any immediate danger of being rounded up and sent to a concentration camp or anything like that, at least not at this stage. The foremost obstacle that being back here poses is that it will probably be more difficult for me to find employment in Indiana than it would be in Massachusetts, given the state of politics and who I am.

2. Spencer, you have absolutely nothing to feel shame or embarrassment about. Many years ago I screwed up badly at school, and I *did* have cause to feel humiliated, as it was purely though my own laziness and cluelessness. It ruined any chance of a career for several years. In the end it was the making of me, and if I could go back to that time now I wouldn’t change a thing.

   You’re feeling low now, and that’s allowed. Hang in there, start looking for new possibilities when you’re ready. They’re out there. Best of luck with the novel in the meantime.

3. Dear Spencer,
   I admire the strength of conviction and the clarity with which you wrote this vulnerable post. In addition to teaching at a HS level, might I suggest reaching out to Community Colleges, if your area has any? I come from a CC background, and there were many competent teachers with MAs that helped guide a ton of non-traditional students through their academic careers.
   As for the YouTube path, I would encourage it. I understand a need to be (somewhat) anonymous, so you could be one of the many faceless content creators who post videos. Along with having a YouTube channel, or in addition to it, would you consider podcasting? I listen to a few podcasts and have grown to appreciate the work they put in.
   Finally, have you considered something like a Patreon? I would genuinely look into it, as someone with your talent and ability to reach the masses. I know that I would personally be happy to contribute towards your research around your posts. Also, an advantage of Patreon is that it could be used in parallel to some of the other suggestions mentioned.
   Regardless, I am wishing you all the best!

   1. I actually already have a Patreon, which you can find here. I haven’t advertised it much and I don’t really offer benefits to patrons, partly because, for most of the history of this blog, I’ve just been writing for my own enjoyment and didn’t really have plans to turn this blog into a living or anything and I don’t really know what benefits to offer. I created it because, a few years ago when I was writing more frequently, I had a lot of people asking where they could join my Patreon assuming that I had one and I reasoned that, if people wanted to send me money, I would be happy to create a way for them to do it.

      If I do start a YouTube channel, then I will show my face. I think it is better when a channel has a name and a face attached to it because it helps create a sense of personal connection with the audience. Also, using my real name and stating my credentials (since I do have a master’s degree in this subject, after all) gives the audience a reason to trust me. Lastly, I can be a rather charismatic presentational speaker and the physical presence is an important part of speaking. If I do start a channel, I would plan to follow the model of educational channels like Religion for Breakfast with Dr. Andrew Mark Henry, Esoterica with Dr. Justin Sledge, Let’s Talk Religion with Filip Holm, Jackson Crawford, etc.

      I applied to some community college positions last year, but I didn’t get any of them. Most of the listings I’ve seen in the humanities are adjunct positions that probably won’t lead anywhere long-term.

      1. My idea that posting a non-update post again will make you feel better may or may not be crazy enough to work.

         1. I am planning to post that review of The Return and hopefully some other stuff. I know I’ve been saying that for months, but I am eventually going to do it. It has been hard lately for me to motivate myself.

            1. That’s why I said maybe actually posting it will help. I could be completely wrong, but maybe not.

               By the way, are there any careers you know of in any field that you could reasonably get?

      2. Your mention of Jackson Crawford is making me imagine you, with a petasos hat on your head, in the wilderness of Indiana… More seriously though, I think Crawford solved the “I don’t know how to edit” problem by just not editing at all — he clearly cuts out the dead air and the moments where he misspoke, but otherwise he just posts the recording as-is. That might be a good way to ease into video-making — but I guess that also depends on whether the laid-back vibe is the one you would want.

         1. Yeah, I’m not nearly as outdoorsy as Jackson Crawford seems to be and there isn’t a lot of genuinely wilderness near me. My area is mostly just a lot of cornfields. I don’t own at petasos hat, unfortunately. If I were to film videos, I’d probably do it in my bedroom/library/study.

            1. Petasos hat?

            2. A petasos is a kind of broad-brimmed hat usually made of felt, leather, or straw that was commonly worn by ancient Greek men when traveling, farming, hunting, or on military service. It was especially associated with the northern regions of Greece and the southern Balkans, especially Thessalia, Makedonia, and Thrake. The joke What Notte is making is that the YouTuber Jackson Crawford, whom I mentioned, is famous for wearing a cowboy hat in all his videos and the petasos is the closest ancient Greek equivalent to a cowboy hat.

4. Have you thought about crowdfunding for even some initial student funding? Yes it is basically but you might have luck.
   I’m sure you’ve also heard of Professor Jeanne Reames at the University of Omaha, Nebraska Dept of Ancient History and Classics. She posts on Tumblr and has written about ‘imposter syndrome’. Maybe she can give you some advice or a new direction.
   As for teaching, hell on earth. My husband is a retired teacher. But consider Robin Water field, a British classical scholar. After his degree, he didn’t go for a PhD, he taught classics in high school and kept on writing books and articles. He kept up contact with other classical scholars and is now a respected published writer.
   You’re a smart cookie. There is a life out there for you my dear.

5. I’ve admired you and your blog for years and continue to do so! Academia sounds soul-crushing and I wish you the best as you explore other options. (side note, my small town high school English teacher (our graduating class 2002 was 35 kids) went on to become a professor at the University of Alaska, so if you enjoy teaching, I know things are possible in the right market/time period)
   There is a lot of change and uncertainty in this time, but one benefit is that people can more easily support small independent creators through platforms like Patreon, Youtube, etc. Some of my favorite Youtube videos are historians like you giving commentary on popular films, etc. I’ve noticed some of the creators I follow moving to sending newsletters or having private Discords, etc to have a more privacy (and hopefully screening from AI training?) while still being able to share their work with the public.

6. I’m very sorry to learn about the probable absence of funding for your PhD studies, and your (understandable) feelings of disappointment and uncertainty.

   As for your personal sense of inadequacy, I cannot see why it would be warranted. My own opinion is hardly more than that of a (however avid) amateur, but your work has been praised by Bret Devereaux and no doubt other genuine scholars, and you are recognised for your expertise on AskHistorians as well. As you note yourself, getting an academic position is mostly a matter of luck at this point, so there is no reason to beat oneself about it. And if one may be a bit crass about it, can any of us really expect to be a world-class expert in a subject? I think anyone should be proud of possessing your brilliance and vast knowledge, even if others are yet more accomplished. I can say that you are much more qualified than the great majority who discuss the ancient world online.

   Which brings me to a suggestion. Since you mention your lack of income, your worries about writing on controversial topics, and your discomfort with your writing being used for AI training, have you considered making some posts available via subscription? Though for selfish reasons I prefer things to be publicly available, it seems to me that many writers have a successful business model on places like Substack with some of their texts freely readable and others behind a paywall. If you feel like you lack skills in video-editing, and confidence in appearing in a more personal format, I would maybe not recommend trying to make Youtube into a career. You also appear to me as the kind of person who best expresses themselves in writing.

   In short, I think you are badly underrating yourself and your accomplishments!

7. Don’t worry.
   Life is not designed only by our own desires.
   It takes unexpected turns.

8. It’s a tough world, especially in academia, and getting worse. I’m sorry that you’ve been the victim. It’s sad that smart, creative, and knowledgeable people like you can’t easily find a place in the world we now inhabit.

   Your best bet is to look for a job in a private high school. Unfortunately there are not many jobs in that arena available, since Latin is no longer a major offering even at such schools. But it’s worth a try.

   The other less concrete option is to continue honing your major strengths, one of which is writing with clarity and a certain amount of grace. Are there parts of the ancient world that have not been covered well or accurately? Could you write a popularized account? While Latin may be moribund in most educational institutions there is still a fair amount of popular interest in the ancient world, especially Rome, of course.

   I wish you good luck and fortune. You have deserved more than the opportunities presented to you.

9. Dear Spencer,

   No reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed.

   Reason only to be proud of your work and your accomplishments.

   I think of my Classics Professor at Oberlin College in 1954, Charles Theophilus Murphy. He graded papers according to the number of quotes from the works we read in translation. If I recall correctly, Professor Murphy favored Gilbert Murray’s translations—I suspect that yours would be better.

   One day, seeking to improve my grades, given an assignment to comment on Antigone, I included this parody:

   “Shall Zeus, the gatherer of clouds above,
   Approve the legal edict of the state
   When it becomes the rule of hate?
   Or shall he bless instead the nobler law of love?”

   Professor Murphy did not detect the authorship.

   Oh yes, I remember now. We were assigned poetry, and it was Theognis who wrote a poem, “Be Versatile, My Kyrnos.”

   That called for another parody:

   “Be unctuous, my Oliver, make friends
   Of fools and philistines to suit your ends.
   Study the bold chameleon where he crawls
   In false humility, and truth appalls.
   Grasp every greasing, copy every ooze;
   Where folly flowers, wisdom weeds need use.”

   Maybe it would sound better if translated into ancient Greek. I’ll bet you could do go a good job. Get some parchment, take it to a chemist who can age it, inscribe your translation, and present it as your discovery. If confronted, I’ll knit my brow, disclaim authorship and say, “It’s all Greek to me.”

   I wish I were rich enough or influential enough to help you thrive in a world that is less than welcoming.

   Consider this a recommendation for any job or appointment you seek.

   Yours,
   Danny

10. I have great admiration and respect for you, your blogs and your posts for so many years, since I started reading them…
    You’re one of the best history writers I’ve read on.
    I know you’ve probably been pushing for this PhD dream and trying hard to not give up- yes don’t give up on it. You love for the academia field is very inspiring, and I think we should find a way to see you pursue that.
    What about setting up a GoFundMe or something similar, let us and the public know what you do, direct them to your blogs and a personal motivation and let’s get the funding for this PhD …
    Give it a thought ma’am 🙏🏾

11. Dear Spencer, I want you to know that you are absolutely wrong about thinking that people only like your blog because they don’t know a lot, not because it’s well done. (“I realize that most of the people who have praised the posts I’ve written on this blog are only praising them because they have very limited knowledge of the ancient world themselves and they find anyone with more knowledge than them impressive.”)

    I found your blog when I was teaching Western Civ at my university during COVID, and was looking for accessible, well-written, smart pieces that were NOT right-wing, and which engaged with recent scholarship, that I could assign my students. I like your blog not because I am cowed by your knowledge, but because you do an exceptional job of conveying complex ideas in clear language. That is very uncommon and is nothing to sneeze at!

    I don’t know why everybody is warning you against high school teaching. And I would hate to see you discount one of the last possibilities for full-time employment that a smart person can still count upon existing! I don’t know you as a person, so have no idea if you enjoy teaching, or adolescents, but I would encourage you not to write it off. Teaching is a job, a profession, one that matters a lot, especially now, with the continued assault on the humanities. It is still one of the only jobs where your expertise actually matters, more or less, and which can be incredibly rewarding. It can also be frustrating, yes, but so can all jobs — even being a professor. And at least for now, our country is still hiring teachers. (Whereas professor jobs are simply disappearing, and very quickly. At many universities they are simply not replacing classics/Latin professor as they retire. We in the humanities feel very scared about the future of our profession). And, for the vast majority of us who do not teach at elite universities, teaching is what we do — so it’s closer to being a professor than you might imagine. And private high schools do not require teachers to be certified, so if you could land a gig, you could figure out if you like it, and then get certified to teach in public schools if you wanted.

    Hang in there, Spencer. I know it’s really hard, but the world is better for you being in it, and our minds are enriched by your knowledge, creativity, and eloquence.
    K. Olds, San Francisco (history professor)

12. You are not alone as this has happened to myriad candidates. There are workarounds. In many fields, a candidate’s work can be submitted in lieu of a thesis and a degree granted post haste. In the science, this was typically a collection of papers. In the humanities, a book or two can do the trick. If you can keep body and soul together (Einstein was a patent clerk if I recall rightly.) and do some substantial writing (obviously with research which I know is expensive due to opportunity costs if nothing else), you might get a backdoor Ph.D.

    1. Yes, Albert Einstein famously spent nearly two years applying for teaching positions at Swiss higher ed institutions after earning his certification and did not receive one. He was working as an examiner for the Swiss Patent Office in Bern when he wrote and published his annus mirabilis papers in 1905. He was only twenty-six when they were published. I am not anything close to Albert Einstein, though, and I would not compare myself to him.

       I don’t believe that “backdoor PhDs” are awarded in the humanities today. A person needs to have fulfilled the coursework and other requirements of a PhD to be awarded one.

       1. They are, Guy Windsor the fencing master for example obtained one in the UK by turning his hobby research into a dissertation, defending it, revising it, and defending it again.

          I agree that its rough that most of the jobs for bookish, polyingual people are going away in the rich English-speaking countries. And chatbots make career planning hard if you don’t want to work with people (physiotherapy, face-to-face sales) or manipulate things in small irregular spaces (cabinetmaking, plumbing).

13. I’m sorry to read about your rejection. Unlike the other respondents, I don’t care for your novel or your approach to ancient Mediterranean history. Yet, you do have a command of detail and the conventional lines of explanation and that should be valuable.

    I agree with the person who recommended applying for a teaching job at a community college. I think you should also consider teaching jobs at seminaries, museums, and teachers colleges. I think You Tube shouldn’t be forgotten either.

    I know this is a gimmick, but I think you might consider something to stand out from the crowd. I suggest partnering with a good cook and including cooking ancient foods as accompaniment to a show about the ancient Mediterranean. Consider presenting content about the lesser known Mediterranean cultures, such as the Kykladic, Sicilian, and Iberian. Much of the art from these prehistoric cultures is impressive.

    If you spend a year doing the above and gain a good following and some presentable video, then it may be easier to try for the Phd next year.

14. My heart goes out to you. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing so much of yourself in this post.

    I’m twice your age, but when I was young, I also had dreams of classical scholarship, earning a BA with a triple major in Classics, History, and Medieval Studies and Distinction in Classics. I was the prytanis of Eta Sigma Phi for a year, and traveled to Greece with my class; Classics was a huge part of my life.

    Then my mother died right as I was about to graduate, and all my plans for a Master’s in Classics or related fields went out the window as I reeled and attempted to recover. I had to reinvent myself completely. It was a difficult time.

    In the aftermath of her death, critically examining the field of academia, I decided that pursuing a PhD and attempting to become a tenured professors was a losing bet. More and more teaching is being shifted to adjuncts with no job security, who need to receive food stamps in order to keep body and soul together. The adjunct life of a few years here, then a few years there, was, in my judgment, no way to live in my late 20s, when I wanted to achieve the stability to start a family.

    I ended up traveling and teaching abroad, and then, “by a set of curious chances” (as they sing in Mikado), ended up doing data analytics and visualizations. It’s a field that (1) pays well since it is tech-adjacent although not actually that technical, (2) is stable and in my opinion, unlikely to be fully replaced by AI, (3) lets me solve puzzles — data puzzles rather than language puzzles, but the solving is similar, and (4) lets me be creative. Presenting data has a lot more artistry to it than one might think. I have found this career to be a wonderful sweet spot between my analytical, detail-oriented mind, my deep creative inclinations, and my need for a healthy salary and benefits.

    I don’t say this because I expect you to rush out and become a data analyst, but to encourage you that there *are* still fields that are interesting, worthwhile, lucrative, and accessible. Our only choice is *not* scrubbing Jeff Bezos’s gold-plated toilets. It may take some twists and turns, but I have faith that your incisive mind and deep wellspring of inspiration and hope will see you through.

    If you are not already familiar with O Net Online, I would recommend it. The site allows one to search by various features of jobs and by various personality traits of those who might be best suited to jobs. https://www.onetonline.org/

    I’d also recommend the site Ask a Manager (https://www.askamanager.org/) for 15+ years’ worth of thoughtful, compassionate, level-headed, and hilarious advice on jobs, both public and private — how to get them, how to survive them, how to know whether they’re any good, how to thrive in them. She has taught me so much just from reading. I’m certain there would be many posts that could resonate with you in one way or another.

    I look forward to reading your book when it comes out.

    I’ll leave a prayer that the internet tells me is from Pindar… you might know more about that than I do! “Daughter of Zeus Eleutherios, Tyche our saviour goddess, I pray for clarity, strength, and success for Spencer McDaniel in her hour of need. For your hand steers the ships of ocean on their flying course, and rules on land the march of savage wars, and the assemblies of wise counsellors.” May Tyche and the other gods and goddesses smile on you soon.

15. Why not apply outside the USA? Leaving asid eany scholarships and sponsorships that may be available I hear that some of the scandinavian countries with free university courses even offer them to foreigners.

16. Spencer, if I was in your situation, I’d relocate to Greece (or Italy) for a year or more. You could power through an online course to become more fluent in the language before leaving, but experience is the best teacher. Cost of living is much less there than in the USA, and you’d be in the midst of what’s held your interest for so long. Easy to believe you’d fall into position as a guide in little time, yet a job cataloging antiquities or such would suffice for room and board while you explored on your own. Become an expert by being in the field; keep company with archaeologists, historians, and others on site. Get out of your head, lose yourself and live a little— you’re only young once!

    Wishing you the best,
    Cheryl

17. Spencer, do you detect the contradiction in the paragraph “….I doubt that it would be worth applying a fourth time, since my odds won’t be much better next year than this year. … By this point, I know enough about the application process to understand that a lot of random and arbitrary factors influence these decisions, that it is mostly a matter of luck…….”???
    If acceptance is a random process your main advantage lies in a large number of submissions in space (Faculties, etc) and time (repetitions).
    By all means try and retry…..
    I would also recommend that you take seriously the suggestions of Terry Constanti & Cheryl Turtle; it would be a substantial expansion of the number of submissions in space!!
    I wish you best of luck
    ΕΡΡΩΣΟ

    Alexander

18. What a devastating situation to be in. I can’t believe that being a popular public intellectual is actively detemental to academic career, this is so broken.
    As a relatively new reader, I really want you to know that I think reading your blog made me think about the ancient world in a more nuanced way, even if there is a lot you don’t know – I’m sure you’re net good for the public discussion. For this reason, I really think it is good for you to keep writing, even if you are not as knowledgeable as you will be in 10 years.
    Also, please don’t let the AI scraping discourage you from writing! Don’t let them win, your work is great and teach lots of people, while impacting the training data very very little. I also think there are ways to ‘poison’ blogs in a way that makes training on them useless invisibly for the readers.
    Definitely you got me to read The Odyssey, and I really love to see you write more so I hope this string of rejections will not break your spirit.
    I’m sure to buy your book when it’s out, so good luck.

19. What makes your writing so interesting is not merely that you know more then me. If all I wanted was exposure to more knowledge there is no shortage of writing out there with interesting facts. Your writing is a pleasure because it conveys your passion and a clear sighted awareness of the injustices surrounding the topics you discuss. The knowledge is just the raw material for what you create.

    As someone who does happen to be an expert in AI, I can confidently tell you that it’s not going to be a replacement for humans anytime soon. The amount of bullshit in this field is astounding. There are real, practical applications that AI can do right now but they are getting passed over because people want to pretend we are close to cognition. What people call “AI” does not think or write; it predicts in the same way a linear equation (that mx+c thing from you learned in highschool) does. Those predictions can be very useful at automating things but we’ve been improving automation for a long, long time. It’s not replacement for a human that can do abstract reasoning and have motivations and getting it there isn’t just a matter of refinement. The future is not in scrubbing gold toilets for billionaires.

    Finally, there is a question I’d want to ask you in private, is there an email address I could contact you at?

20. I’m sorry about the rejections. I know you’ve heard this a million times already and it might not help your self-esteem at this point, but the difficulty getting funding is a reflection of the state of academia, not any failings on your part.

    Have you only applied for funded PhD programs in the US, or have you also looked at Canadian and European programs? With a Master’s degree, you might have better luck finding a university with more funding opportunities outside the US. Especially since US institutions are much tighter with their funding and admissions thanks to Trump’s cuts to grant money.

    Whatever you decide to do next, I can’t wait to buy your book, continue reading your blog, and watch your YouTube videos if you decide to make them! Your content is extremely informative and interesting. Don’t do yourself a disservice and downplay your knowledge just because it’s not at the level of a professor who’s been in the field as long as you’ve been alive! No one complimenting you is under the mistaken impression that you know more the experts in the field; we’re impressed because you know so much for your level of education, and for the wide breadth of topics you’ve done research in outside your area of expertise, and because of your excellent skill in effectively communicating all this knowledge to a broader audience. Maybe that has limited utility on your CV, but don’t make the mistake of thinking the people impressed by you aren’t rightly so!

    1. I applied to University of Toronto this time, but that’s the only program outside the U.S. that I applied to. For various reasons, I’m not keen on the idea of moving to another country far from my family for a prolonged period of time.

21. My daughter was admitted to the PhD program in history at UW Madison but did not get offered financial support. She managed to graduate after 10 years, and pretty much had financial support all the way, though usually it was not though the department, it changed from year to year, and she had to be creative. For several years she was an instructor for the English department, teaching a freshman into course on public speaking. She had been a high school history teacher for four years, and it turned out to be something she was good at.

    So, my advice is to carefully consider the offer from Washington. Go visit, spend a few days there and look into other ways you might support yourself. Maybe the library needs someone who can read and write Greek. Maybe there is a robotics lab that needs someone who is internet savvy and who can write well to help them with publicity. It will probably be something that you can’t imagine on your own, but will find out if you poke around a bit.

    1. What you’re describing sounds like a very different situation from the one I’m in. I actually asked the professor from the University of Washington with whom I have been in communication what it would mean if I accepted my offer without funding. She told me that every year they always admit vastly more students than they can afford to fund and they have never had any student accept an offer without funding. She also said that she would personally advise strongly against it. She said that the cost of tuition alone for six years in the program would be over $200,000. On top of that, a PhD requires a time commitment equivalent to a full-time job and accepting the offer without funding would require me to live in the Seattle area, which has a very high cost of living, for six years without the ability to work full-time to support myself. I am not independently wealthy, so the only way I could possibly afford to accept the offer without funding would be by taking out probably well over $300,000 in student loans for a degree that almost certainly would not lead to any job afterward that would allow me to pay back those loans. It would be an extremely foolish decision.

       When a PhD program in the U.S. offers admission without full funding, it is nearly always meant as a softer form of rejection. The assumption is always that the student will decline the offer.

       1. I am retired from the Department of Computer Science at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, one of the top CS departments. We accepted people in the grad program without guarenteeing funding, but usually that was a MS program. They would get jobs in other departments because they were good programmers. I knew a student who got his PhD in CS without ever having a job with the CS department. He came in with a degree in English or Psychology or something like that, was very interested in AI, and at the same time that he did a PhD in AI, he built an AI system for someone in the agriculture school; a system for diagnosing corn or soybean diseases, or something like that. But CS has lots of money. We hired lots of TAs to help teach our large courses, and RAs to work on projects funded by grants from industry or government. Plus, our grad students (and even undergrads) were in demand from other departments. Marc Andreesson got his start as an undergrad programmer, working slightly more than minimum wage for the supercomputer center. And the cost of living was pretty low. So, it made sense for students to take a chance on finding financial support when they got here. The only grad student I knew who never got financial support was from Saudi Arabia. His parents could afford it, and he told them that he was looking for an assistantship, but I don’t think he looked very hard.

          My daughter did not have parents who would pay her way through grad school. She applied to four history departments that had experts in South Asian history, because she wanted to study colonial-era Indian history. She only got accepted to one, UW Madison. By an amazing stroke of luck, her BFF lived in Madison, working as a nurse. She shared an apartment with her brother, but her brother was getting married that summer, and she was planning to look for a new roommate. So, my daughter moved in with her and they had two great years together. As soon as my daughter got to Madison, she started looking for jobs that would pay tuition. I think she only ended up paying for one semester of tuition. She obviously had enough in the bank to pay that, she didn’t have to borrow any money (as far as I know). That first year she got a job as a TA in another department. At first she was a little nervous about teaching college students, but as she told me, college freshmen aren’t much different from high school seniors. She learned about a government fellowship program that would fund students to learn languages that were important for the government. Hindi was one of them, and she got supported that way for several years. By this time, she had a good reputation in the history department and would sometimes get a job as a TA for one of their courses, but more often in other departments teaching freshmen courses.

          The department had a special graduation ceremony that involved a dinner with presentations about each graduating PhD. My daughter was the only one who took 10 years to finish. But she was also the only one who came in without any promise of financial support. In those 10 years, she had gotten married and had a child. One married couple had arrived and finished their PhDs in three years. They were both army officers, and so had all expenses paid by the federal government, and had money for expenses like child-care. They were probably more disciplined than my daughter, and knew they had a short time-line when they came in. And they came in with a MS already. Still, that shows the difference that having funding can take. Being a TA takes a lot of time. Often it seemed that my daughter made most of her research progress during the summer and during winter breaks. It is much better to get a fellowship that will pay you to work on your PhD, but it is possible to finish without ever having one.

          Your biggest cost is tuition, so if you took this route you would need to find a job that paid it. There are lots of half-time jobs at a university that will give you a tuition waiver. Yes, it will make you take longer. But if you are enjoying the work then it doesn’t matter that much.

          Alternatively, keep on working on your book and on your writing and apply again next year. But I think you ought to take a trip to Seattle and check out the university. Don’t focus on the classics department, you already know they won’t give you money. Talk to whoever has large freshman classes for which you could conceivably be a TA. Look for well-funded centers on campus that need people who can communicate. You don’t need six years of support. One year at a time is good enough.

22. I was wondering if you have tried applying to schools overseas. I would think universities in Europe would have better courses anyway and more knowledgeable professors.

    1. I applied to University of Toronto this time around, but I haven’t applied to any other programs outside the United States. For various reasons, I’m not keen on moving to another country far from my family for a prolonged period of time. I applied to Toronto because it’s actually geographically closer to where my family lives than many programs in the U.S.

       The graduate education system in Europe is also generally very different from North America; a PhD in the United States generally lasts five or six years, the first three years are spent in courses and preparing for comprehensive exams, and the final two to three years are spent working on the dissertation. In the U.S., students are generally not admitted to a program without full funding or, if they are, it is meant as a softer form of rejection; absolutely no one here ever expects a student to actually accept an offer that is not fully funded. A PhD in the U.K. and many other European countries, by contrast, only lasts three years, often has no coursework requirement, and instead includes an expectation for the student to begin working on the dissertation immediately. In the U.K., it is more common for a student to be admitted to a program without full funding and there are some people who actually accept such offers.

23. Hi Spencer,

    I’m not in the habit of writing stuff online, but I felt compelled to by your post. I’m in Europe and a bit older than you, but otherwise we’re in a similar boat in some ways. What I might say may offer little comfort, but hopefully may provide some guidance (as much as I can muster, anyway).

    First, some context. I’ve moved forward in my career a bit more than you, in the sense that I was accepted to a PhD programme (literature) of my choice, and am now finishing up my dissertation. In comparison to others I’m quite privileged, as I’m not in debt for any of my studies, but underprivileged in others (in the sense that no one is likely to take a second look at my alma mater in any overseas applications). I was always aware of these factors and chose to do it like this and remain in my country.

    I know very well the feeling of orientating your entire life towards an academic goal. That zeal is the reason why I started following your blog. However conscious of the pitfalls of my approach I was, I still harboured too many delusions. One delusion was that the precarity of my situation would finally change once I enrolled in my Master’s, and then my PhD. Once I’ve aced all the exams and proven sharp, witty, incisive, a deep researcher, began organising conferences, editing volumes, surely some opportunity would crop up?

    What I’m trying to say is that the precarity of the situation doesn’t go away when you reach a PhD programme, if nothing you’re in an even more dangerous state. Even after a PhD, the chances of your working prospects more than likely wouldn’t improve. I was of a similar mindset, pinning my hopes on a PhD. I even received encouragement and nods from faculty members to just be persistent and do the work, and there might even be a place for me at my alma mater, etc. From what I’ve seen since, it’s a gamble, luck of the draw, being at the right place at the right time and impressing the right people at the right positions at that moment matters more than even passion or accomplishments.

    I don’t want to write a post (only) about being bitter after 10+ years spent in the system.

    One thing that’s helped me tremendously to combat the resentment, shame, failure, disappointment in myself, and the general feeling of being a waste on this planet is trying to refocus, and rethink what success looks like for me. Having a loving and supportive partner and family also helped tremendously. I’d allowed myself to be so laser-focused on this thing I was chasing that I neglected many things in my life that are truly meaningful. I eventually began searching for a different career, found an interesting job, after a couple of years realised it’s not for me, and now I’m looking for something different, right now I’m looking into trade school, or some other form of career that might allow me the time to maybe do independent research as a hobby if I so choose.

    I would also recommend trying a career that doesn’t play into your usually defined “strengths”. I believe you’ll find that, when pressed, you’re a lot better at a lot of different things than you believe. The first time round I went into journalism/content creation etc. and found very little meaning in it. Then I tried project management and some other things. Find out what you need from a job to sustain your spirit and not simply your bank account. It can be some sense of purpose, it can be helping people in some capacity, it can be money (hey, why not). Whatever it is, try to find it, either by soul-searching or by trying any job out there, or both. But that’s the only way I’ve found of replacing some of that passion with something else.

    Also, don’t allow yourself to become bitter, it’s not a good place. It doesn’t seem like you’re there yet, and that’s good. Enough time spent stressing out about all these things will poison the well, and you can end up not even loving the work you’re supposed to be doing. I caught myself resenting people in my field harbouring a genuine passion and interest, because “they’re so clueless about how things really are” or whatever, and this type of corrosive cynicism is something I’m now actively trying to wean myself off of. I’m not saying it’s you, or it would be you after another 5-6 years in the system, I’m just saying it happens to a lot of us, and not everyone springs back from that mindset.

    For me at least, the toughest thing to accept, even now, is the creeping sensation that others made much greater advancements than me, more success, better life or whatever. The thing is, you’re still young and have room for plenty more experiments. You can change careers all you like, and still make up for lost time. And you can do it, it just requires you switch gears a bit. Another tough pill to swallow, for me at least, is the looming fact of my dream simply not happening for me, and the fact that, as far as dreams go, it wasn’t even that grand or glamorous one. This of course may be because the carrot of hope was dangled in front of me one time too many, but I can say for certain that it did me little good.

    Again, I’m not trying to sound too bitter, but perhaps it’s a good thing that this has happened now, instead of 6 or 10 years down the line, once you’ve accepted one adjunct position too many and shuffled across the US? You can still rediscover a course for yourself. And I know you can do it, because, as evidenced by this thing you’ve built here, you can do great things when you chart a course.

    I wish you the best.

24. Spenser, please dont be talking about burying any dreams at this point. You are too young and too talented. I wish I had the resources to offer you an option at this point (but at least I can recommend you to some people who do).
    Dont worry about AI eclipsing your writing skills. AI is going to build us some incredible data bases which we can use to address our questions. Imagine what we could do if we had all of “Aristotle” in an accessible data base!
    Hang in there!

25. This passage caught my eye: “I realize that most of the people who have praised the posts I’ve written on this blog are only praising them because they have very limited knowledge of the ancient world themselves and they find anyone with more knowledge than them impressive. It just means that I know more than most people; it doesn’t mean that I am anything close to a real expert.” My perspective as a long-time communicator of science in a variety of media, but always aimed at a general, not specialist, audience, is that if you can interest people who aren’t classicists, maybe that should be something you should do. Why should you feel the need to be an expert? I think there are thousands of people with limited knowledge of the acncient world who would be fascinated to learn more.

    1. Thanks, I appreciate this reframing. For a long time, I thought that history and classics communication was a potential alternate career path, but it is very difficult to earn a living that way and there aren’t nearly as many opportunities or paths available as they are with science communication. I only know of a few people who have managed to do it and, even then, they’ve only been able to make it into a living after many years of doing it as basically a full-time job on the side, which is what I’ve been doing for the past almost eight years now and I still haven’t reached that point.

26. I just wanted to say that I’ve loved your blog for years, and I’m so sorry to hear about what you’ve been going through. I hope new opportunities come your way.

    1. Thank you so much. I hope so too.

27. Dear Spencer,

    I only found out about your amazing blog a few days ago, through a link on the equally fabulous blog of Bret Devereaux. I truly regret not having discovered it earlier, there is so much fabulous stuff to read here. Now, I am sorry to hear that you find yourself in this predicament, but even if it seems like the end, it is not. Trust me on that, I have been there.
    In 1989 Ι moved from my native country of Greece to Germany in order to become an Archaeologist. I studied the language for about 9 months and the discipline for 6 years and in 1996 I acquired my Magister Artium of Classical Archaeology (“Hauptfach” or Major), Ancient History and German Literature (“Nebenfächer” or Minors).
    I never had the opportunity to actually practice Archaeology as a profession. Soon after graduation I returned to Greece and in 2000 started working as a bank clerk-for the next 13 years. My colleagues and often my superiors came from the most diverse fields: Physicists, Mathematicians, Historians, Sociologists, Botanists, you name it. I was particularly impressed by the fact that one of the most successfull people I knew in that bank had a degree in Greek Orthodox Theology-best salesman I ever met by the way.
    Around 2011 things began to fall apart in Greece, financially speaking, so in 2013 I went back to Germany. This time I took a family with me, my German wife and two children. I am still working in fields unrelated to Archaeology, but I cant say I am unhappy. Would I want to work in academia, the fine arts or in some excavation? Sure, but you can have a fulfilling life outside these fields too, even as a nerd.
    Nobody stops you from reading about history, the classics and what have you even if you work in 9-to-5 job. It can even be liberating, because you can follow your fancy and read about other cultures, other time periods, other subjects. After I quit my studies I started reading extensively on Nazi Germany for a certain period, then I got interested on the rise of Communism in Russia, then again on US History (right now I am reading Hickey’s book on the war of 1812) and the conquest of Mexico by the Spaniards and so on… To wrap it up: Life does not end if you can’t fulfil your dream, sometimes it only begins then. If you start a new career you may discover things you never knew about your talents and skills (I discovered in my 50s that I am a good salesman, who knew?).
    That being said, I find your writings excellent and read them with great pleasure , even though many of the stuff you write are not new to me (no offense, I am after all a colleague 🙂 . I wish you with all my heart to make a career in Classical Studies, but if you cant make it it is not because you are inadequate, it is because the field is very competitive and there is hardly any space left.

    Best regards and don’t lose hope.

28. That has to be really disheartening, but don’t doubt your own abilities. At least one accomplished scholar thinks highly of your work: https://acoup.blog/2024/09/06/comes-the-hiatus-2024/ The reason I know about your blog is that recommendation.

29. Hello. How can I contact you? Do you have an email?

    1. Yes, I do have an email. I can send an email to your address, which I can see from your comment.

30. Can it be that if you publish your novel, and get the reviews and reception it deserves, that this could buff your application? I ask this because it is so based upon what you have learned so far. Many count on a position to back the possibility of writing a book–but it can work the other way too.
    I think that you may have more than one way ahead.

    1. Probably not. Most academics do not view writing fiction as academic work or as being relevant to academia in any way.

31. Dear Spencer.

    You obviously pass a challenging period. I would suggest something that *may* help you put the situation in perspective.

    Please have a look at my Natal Transits Calculator

    https://emf.neocities.org/nt/nataltransits2

    It seems that all of us follow rhythms that determine the phases of our lives, rhythms that we do not know about. Maybe, just maybe, this application will help you see things in a different way.

    Sincerely,

    Eustace

32. I have to be brief but I could not be more sincere.

    You are a tremendously talented writer. I love reading your work. For raw “expert” information I could read Wikipedia or many academics who post online. You are one of my favourite writers, and at your young age it is dazzling. You will blow the world away at this rate.

    High school teachers who can inspire with their own passion about learning are a rare commodity. One of them basically kept a drowning young teenage me alive, though he did not know it. Can I ask you to consider it from the perspective of a younger Spencer what it meant to have a teacher like that if you had one….or what it would have meant if you didn’t.

    You are in mourning for a lost dream. It was the dream of a 10 year old and i don’t say that to be dismissive but to remind you of everything outside that dream that you haven’t even noticed, but may be just as rewarding…or more. Perhaps it is lost or perhaps not, but you are clearly in a grieving period. You will get over it and you will move on. I promise you that is so. Please believe that.

33. It’s rough out here. I’m sorry that you haven’t gotten the opportunity you’ve dreamed of yet. It can feel really bad, and I know it can cause feelings of despair and defeat. But you are brilliant and talented, and I and many others believe in you and your abilities. Stay strong, don’t give up. You can find success.

    As you said, you’ve worked for years on being a science communicator and it still isn’t profitable. But have you been pursuing a profitable medium for science communication? Like you said, there’s no way a successful blog pays anything even close to what a successful youtube channel does. Your roadblocks are fear and not knowing how to do video editing. Be brave, and use the abundant free resources online to learn (or pay someone on fiverr I guess). Easier said than done, but you can do it. Fully commit, grind it out and build a following (and you won’t be starting from nothing, everyone who reads your stuff here will be interested in your videos).

    You have the secret sauce, you have the spark of presenting information in a way that engages people and catches their imagination. You just need to channel it in the right way to make some decent money off it. I look forward to subscribing.

    …also, do you have a mailing list for when your book is published?

34. I love what you do!
    Been a huge fan for years!
    You are an inspiration!

    1. Thank you so much! I appreciate your kind words.

       1. Thank you for the excellent articles over the years!

          I see you’ve written about ‘The Return’ recently. I’ve been watching ‘Kaos’ on Netflix, have you had a chance to check it out? Any thoughts? If not, I’m enjoying it a fair bit and recommend it; in my amateur understanding of Classical Greek artistic sensibilities Kaos successfully evokes them.
          Be aware however that the humor while consistently present is very dark.

          1. Yes, I have seen Kaos and I actually started to write a review of it in September of last year, but I haven’t finished it. Like The Return, I had mixed feelings about it; I liked some aspects and I disliked others. I may finish and publish my review of it this April if people are still interested in it.

             1. I, for one, am interested.
                Take care

             2. Please don’t think nobody will be interested in your thoughts on Kaos (or Megalopolis, for that matter).

35. Ditto!

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